Ever feel alone? Jealous of everyone’s social media posts? Or wondering why we are all competing against each other? Then this book is for you.
Have you ever heard the phrase “Community over Competition”? Author Natalie Franke explores our insatiable need for human connection in a digital world and her story of longing through the chaos and lessons in her journey.
How do we go from a deeply shallow world and get past the highlight reels on social media?
The answer, according to the author is one word: Empathy.
The book explains, “our brains are equipped with emotional intelligence and wired to imagine what it would feel like to experience the world from someone else’s situation. It is a critical component of human connection.”
Digital Connectedness Isn’t All You Need
Recent studies indicate a concerning trend. Although loneliness can be cured with just one click, digital life, according to the author, is not all we are wired to have or rely upon.
A 2018 Study by the University of Pennsylvania found that social media users with high depression scores who reduced their usage to 30 minutes a day significantly reduced their depressive symptoms.
A 2017 Study in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine surveyed U.S. adults and found that those who spent the most time on social media had twice the odds of perceived social isolation.
In 2019, Saiphoo, Halevi & Vahedi’s study found that social media use had a significant negative relationship with self-esteem.
So how do you start to use the Internet in a beneficial way for more human connection?
How Can We Use the Internet Better
To deepen our relationships and sense of belonging, we can use the Internet more efficiently and effectively to:
Create and connect BEFORE we consume
Set intentional time limits
Create a connection list of groups and people
Plan specific online events
Create online rituals that inspire participation
Ensure accessibility for all
Grounded in Gratitude
“A grateful heart that celebrates others is a weapon in the war of competition.”
The author explains, “we won’t look back on our lives and wish that we had spent more time comparing ourselves….or the long hours we wasted counting all the reasons we didn’t measure up.”
Intentional gratitude changes levels of serotonin and dopamine in the brain. The author suggests starting your day with a gratitude journal and not endlessly scrolling through your phone.
Find Your Community
Franke also gives several strategies for finding and cultivating a community of your own, including:
Overcome your First Time Phobia
Create a Confidence-boosting Ritual
Eliminate Negative Self Talk
Bring a Friend
Ask Good Questions
Repeat a Name After Introductions
Start with What You Have in Common
Ask for a Way to Stay Connected
So, what do we think about Built to Belong?
Don’t just walk, but RUN to the book store or Amazon to get your copy!
